Things My Kids Do

My kids are funny. Most of the time, I’m the only one who thinks so. But they don’t always realize why.

For example, my oldest and his sister have started this thing where they’re a different animal each morning. Today, they finished their lunch before I did and as I was taking a bite, I heard my son go, “Rrrrrrooooooaaar!!!”

I asked him, “what animal are you being today?”

He says, “I’m a LION!”

I look over at him, and sure enough, he’s wearing a Barry Sanders Jersey.

My youngest son and I have a special relationship. By that I mean, we share the same bizzarre sense of humor.

Ive been finding half-eaten bath toys for weeks now, a trend that began seemingly out of the blue… As I wonder why the bath toys keep being eaten by the dogs, I discovered this today…

…that might be why.

And why carry your cup when you can crawl-drive it in a Barbie Jeep?

My daughter is just quick witted and sassy…like her father.

A while back, I told her to use her fork instead of trying to eat spaghetti with her hands. She didn’t listen.

It went on and on until her face was unrecognizable as anything but a spaghetti monster. Mid-bite, I firmly told her, “Manners, Please!! Use your fork!!”

She cut her eyes up at me and said, “Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

Or the day it took me 3 hours to finish my cup of morning coffee because I did nothing but extinguish sibling fires from the time my feet hit the floor. I was lamenting my coffee being cold, again, and my daughter asked me why I didn’t just drink it.

I said in frustration, “…Because I haven’t had time to drink my coffee!!”

She snarked, “Well, you need to.”

I’m going to have to watch that one; she’s a handful of lit firecrackers.

Of course, there are some times I try to troll her.

There was the time she was looking out the window and saw a squirrel. She said, “I see a squo-wee!”

I said, “You see a what?”

She said, “A squo-wee!”

“I’m sorry, what did you see?”

“I sayed, I seed a squo— hmm…”

Realizing I just got a kick our of her pronunciation, she rolled her eyes and stopped mid-word and wouldn’t give me the satisfaction of further trolling.

I have fun with my kids. I try to remember that on the days they stab each other in the faces with forks.

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