Okay, God. I’m broken, I’m unsettled, and I’m just plain tired; I cannot do this anymore. (I always find myself saying “anymore”… Which only means that I’ve once again tried to take the reins into my own hands…)
So I kept praying about the heaviness of my efforts and the “stuck” feeling I had about my faith and family. And then God gave me 1) grace for my children. We didn’t bother with lessons today. We had a play day. It was relaxed (mostly) and I let my brain let go for a day. 2) this video.
Paul Gautschi is one of my most respected role models. In gardening, in life, in faith. I may not agree with all of his opinions or theology, but by golly I respect them just the same.
What Paul mentioned that really got me is the word, “upgrade”. I’m feeling restless and anxious and it seems that I face a trial at every turn. Why? God’s about to give me an upgrade and He has to be sure I won’t crumble beneath it.
Okay. Check. Got that, Lord.
I constantly fight God’s efforts to make me more mature… How… immature of me.
But that’s why we’re told so often to “put on” Christ!
For the same reasons kids play dress up. My son puts on his Daddy’s boots or sunglasses and asks me, “So, Mother, how are you doing today?” In pretending to be like his father, he’s learning the behaviors, skills, and disciplines required to be a mature adult.
C.S. Lewis wrote on the process of being sanctified by “putting on” Christ:
The real Son of God is at your side. He is beginning to turn you into the same kind of thing as Himself. He is beginning, so to speak, to ‘inject’ His kind of life and thought, His Zoe, into you; beginning to turn the tin soldier into a live man. The part of you that does not like it is the part that is still tin.
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (1952; Harper Collins: 2001) 189.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go get dressed up so that God can turn my pretense into reality.