My son is so much more in tune with the spiritual realm and the things of God. He better understands the roles of my husband and I than we do ourselves.
I was having a hard time getting the little man to go to sleep. It coincided with a late work night for my husband. I realized what my son already knew- I’m not the protector of the house, my husband is. I can nurture, and comfort, and offer encouragement and support, but I am not the protector and defender of our home- that’s not my role.
Sure, I have taken classes in self-defense, and being a homesteader/prepper/ whatever you wanna label me, I’m familiar with various home defense weapons and reasonably skilled in their use. But, I’m not “Papa.” I’m not the one the kids run to when there’s a scary noise, or a big animal, or a strange car… I’m the one who they run to with snotty noses, scraped knees, hurt feelings… And that is a beautiful picture of the complementary relationship between husband and wife, male and female. And there they go again, the kids teaching me about life…
Mom-ing doesn’t really come easily for me. Im not particularly feminine and I have a hard time relating to other females. I think that’s why I initially hoped for all sons; it’s easy to raise boys to be rugged when you’re rough and tumble yourself. “Ah, rub some dirt in it and walk it off. You’ll be fine.”
I frequently think at my daughter (who is only a year old!) Ugh, stop whining like such a girl… And I was convicted about that mindset (my husband is good at keeping me accountable) because…well, she IS a girl. A sweet, snuggly, sensitive, beautiful little girl. And that’s not a bad thing! She’s been divinely gifted by God with a feminine, gentle, and loving spirit that is easily injured by my “toughness.”
I think God gave me a daughter to develop in me the qualities He always intended for me to have. Quiet, submissive, gentle, humble, loving, kind… Those are traits I lack. And the older I get, and the more I see of culture, the more I realize how little true Biblical feminity is actually valued, let alone lived and embodied.
I also think that I’m particularly vulnerable to desiring the role my husband is meant to fill. I like feeling strong, dominant, fierce, in-charge.
But that’s HIS role. Don’t misunderstand me; when the men-folk are gone, they count on us women to “hold down the fort” and to make sure the household runs in their absence- I’ve been a Marine wife, I get that. BUT when they come home, they never intended for us to keep hold of the reins. And by golly, that morsel of authority is hard to turn loose of once you’ve gone and tasted it.
So I guess I learned something about myself today. I learned I’m not as big and bad as I like to think I am (well maybe big, but not especially bad while 9 months pregnant…) And I’ve learned that my kids aren’t fooled by any formidable persona I may choose to employ- they know I defer to their “Papa” and that “Mama” is a boss, but not the Boss- that’s my husband. And I’m certainly not THE Boss- that’s God.
Sometimes I just need reminding that it’s good and proper for me to fulfill my role as wife and mother; there’s no one in my household more qualified to fill those roles than me. And that it’s right and fitting for my husband to fill the roles of husband and father; there is no one more qualified in our household to fill those roles than him. And that’s the way God made it to function, and that’s why it functions so seamlessly when my husband and I are both present and on the same page.
And these little glimpses of the Divine in my family are what get me through the day and keep me focused on why I do what I do day in and day out.