Now is as good a time as any…
We’re expecting again!
Baby #3 was completely a surprise to us. Our other two children weren’t necessarily planned either, but my husband and I were able to at least vaguely pinpoint their conceptions. We are both befuddled as to how and when this little bean was conceived, but he or she is due in February, right around Valentine’s Day.
I think the most important thing that has been sitting on my heart for the last two months is the fact that God was/is not surprised at all. I was reading Psalm 139 this morning, which happens to be one of my favorite Psalms, and verses 13-16 really stood out to me in a way they hadn’t before:
For it was you who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I will praise you because I have been remarkably made. Your works are wonderful, and I know this full well.
My bones were not hidden from You when I was made in secret, when I was formed in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began.
PSALM 139:13-16 HCSB
I cannot even fathom the depth of knowledge and understanding of the Lord my God. Nor can I wrap my head around how and why He sees fit to bless me with such sweet and beautiful children, when I deserve nothing from Him.
I give God praise for this blessing and trust Him completely to provide for our rapidly burgeoning family.
Now for a confession.
I wanted to wait until the 2nd trimester to inform anyone of our news. Mostly because I was a little embarrassed by all the comments that came when we had my daughter (she’s 18 months younger than my son) and all of the words that came off as somewhat cruel like, “Already? You know what causes that right?” Or “Oh one of each, now you can quit.” I’ll address my thoughts on those types of things in another post.
But I also wanted to hold back because of the risk of miscarriage. This child and my daughter will be slightly less than 15 months apart. The strain on my body and feeling like I hadn’t quite made it back to my pre-pregnancy#2 self had me worried about the health and well-being of Baby #3, as well as my own health. I just wasn’t ready to face the comments of people who don’t share my views on contraception or on wanting a large family. Which is immensely challenging, because I don’t have many peers in my corner on those regards or who share those particular convictions. Fortunately, my husband and I are totally on the same page and he’s excited, though also surprised.
What I finally came to understand was that God is sovereign over all creation, including my family. And he knows everything about this little one before he or she is even born. So what have I to fear or fret over when I know that my God is with me, through whatever the circumstances may bring? Nothing, right? (Right.)
In the meantime, I’m feeling great (though physically exhausted most days) and the worst of the nausea has passed. Right about 10 weeks along, and already starting to show (it’s my experience that I show a bit sooner with each child, though my suspicion is that this one is a boy, because of similar symptoms/signs to my first pregnancy with my son.)
God is good, whatever may happen. So I decided to go ahead and put it out there. And the more people I have to hold me accountable in that belief, the better.