I Can Pick My OWN Nose, Thank You!

There are so many things I say now as a mother of a 9-month-old boy that I never imagined would leave my mouth. Here are some of the more weird ones:

“Outlets are for plugs, not your fingers.”

“No, kiss Daddy’s face, not slap it!”

“Stop licking the dog’s mouth!”

“Spit out that fur!” (He had found a hand full of dog hair after I had brushed out our border collies)

“Is that dirt or poop?”

“How did you get blueberries in your diaper!?”

“Bath time is done, naked time is over, let me put your diaper on.”

“Wait- come back with the diaper!” (As he crawled away butt-naked holding his diaper)

“How did you get your feet out of your jammies?”

“We don’t play with the toaster!”

“Since when can you do that!?”

“That hoof is for the DOGS to chew on!”

“Be gentle with the dog’s nose!”

“That’s the dog’s water, not a swimming pool!”

“You won’t like this black olive, here, try it and then be grossed out so Mama can finish her dinner in peace… *gives him olive*… Crap… he likes it.”

“Would you like some spinach like Maggie?”

Those are just a few of my favorites. I have been really trying to use more positive framing for the instructions I give him. Instead of saying, “Don’t do this,” or “Quit doing that,” I try to tell him what I have determined to be the acceptable alternative; “Hold this giraffe toy instead of Mama’s ponytail.”

Through it all, I’ve come to one conclusion: Mom-ing is hard. Like, really difficult. The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. And all at once it hit me like a ton of bricks as I watched his heavy eyelids succumb to sleepiness and he drifted off in my arms; I’m responsible for this tiny human being. It’s my job to make sure he grows up having the tools and skills he needs in order to be a mature and responsible adult. It’s my job to care and instruct on top of making sure he doesn’t choke to death on the slobbery pulp of a magazine page he tore out of my Runner’s World and decided to chew on. Wow! That’s a lot. But looking at those little Good & Plenty sized fingers and knowing all the joy he brings to my life, it’s all worthwhile. God has blessed me with a beautiful baby boy and I couldn’t be more grateful for the adventure that will come in raising him.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” -Proverbs 22:6, NKJV