As it happens, Tuesdays are my “outdoor” days. Not only did the rain hamper my outdoor activities and chores planned for today, it kept all of us cooped up inside.
I got really discouraged and unmotivated to do anything. I have been really diligent in keeping up with house cleaning lately, but one weekend destroys all my progress. There’s dirty laundry tossed in every room, toys everywhere, rabbit and chicken bedding tracked through the house (I absolutely abhor carpet) and all my nice clean surfaces are covered in clutter.
That’s how I feel about my spiritual life, honestly. I’m really diligent in reading my Bible, studying, and praying, and then something throws off my routine and I struggle to regain that ground.
A lot of it is due to the fact that I try to do it in my own strength. Fails every time. Some is just me being lazy. But I feel that a portion of it could be alleviated by me better communicating my goals with my husband.
So on rainy days like today, I have time to ponder my inner workings and evaluate myself. Am I growing in Christ? Am I getting closer to reaching the goals I’ve set for myself in parenting, homesteading, fitness? Am I being a godly wife and mother? Does my family see Christ in me?
Today, I had to answer no to a lot of those questions. It wasn’t until just now that I considered the character of God. He’s a God of redemption, a God of love and forgiveness. I need only come to him with my failures and shortcomings and He’ll be there ready for me. The question I was facing today was, am I ready for Him? I want to say 100% yes I am, but I don’t know that’s true. I find myself clinging to my children, or my husband, or our finances rather than clinging to God, who blessed me with all those things.
God willing, I’ll have a chance to do better tomorrow.