Sex without Responsibility

Let’s be clear right up front. New York’s “Reproductive Health Act” is straight out of Hell itself. There is nothing worth celebration when it comes to the murder of babies. That’s what abortion is; call it what you want- termination of pregnancy, reproductive rights, the right to choose- it’s murder. Plain and simple.

For starters, it’s predicated on a lie that a woman’s body is entirely her own and she may be free to do with it whatever she pleases. The truth is, the baby in a womb has DNA different from the mother’s and is a unique individual, dependent on the mother for sustenance of and protection of life. I’ve seen my son’s heart beating at 4 weeks gestation. You cannot tell me that’s not life. Why we fell for the lie that single-celled organism constitutes life on Mars, but fail to accept that the fertilized egg in a woman’s womb is a human life is absolutely beyond me.

A woman’s “ability to choose” stops at her decision to have sex and her personal sovereignty is overridden by the baby’s right to life the moment a human life distinct from her own is conceived in her. Circumstances of that conception are completely irrelevant. A life is a life; whether you want it to be or not…Even Horton the Elephant understood that principle.

Here’s the thing– I haven’t always held to this pro-life view.

I very much ascribed to a feminist view point throughout most of high school and college. I believed a woman should have the ability to do with her body whatever she wanted. Because I didn’t know or understand God’s design, I fell for the lie of the culture. The problem was that with that belief was the lie that sexual liberation comes free of consequences. It doesn’t. I now know that our feeble and pathetic attempts to justify liberal sexuality and abortion are nothing more than attempts to separate sex from God’s design and from its procreative functions. We want pleasure without accountability; sex without responsibility. And it doesn’t exist.

Sex as designed by God is reserved for monogamous, life-long marriage between a man and a woman.


That’s the question the Church has been failing to answer for generations, and the answer to which I came only after much heartache.

Let me see if I can explain it.

Go back to Genesis; God created man and woman in the garden of Eden to be in complete unity with Himself. The man and woman were naked and felt no shame- because the sexual union they had was pure, and unmarred by sin. Ever wonder why God didn’t give them clothes immediately upon creation? He did- God clothed their souls with a physical body.

But the moment they sinned against God and that unity was broken, they went from being soul-focused to flesh-focused, and sin, shame, and fear took over. Then God made for them clothing from animal skins and in that way atoned for their sins through the shedding of blood. They forsook their original physical “clothing” and were now laid naked and ashamed before God. Things wouldn’t be the same from that point forward. In the garden, humanity lost unity with God and exchanged His perfect design for the lie that they could control their own lives; determine for themselves circumstantially the definition of good and evil.

Marriage and family were designed to be a picture of humanity’s relationship with the tri-personal God. Perfect unity. Sex in marriage was to be an expression and reflection of the pleasure, fruitfulness, and spiritual unity that intimate relationship with God brings. Stop and think about that for a moment- physical pleasure is nothing compared to the pleasure of being in complete peace and unity with God. Children are intended to be the blessing brought about through the fruitful, pleasurable union of man and woman.

So what happens when we take sex out of it’s marriage context? For starters, it defies God’s design, and is therefore sin. Sex is never “just sex” and it’s never “just physical”- because that’s not how God designed it. Nor is it true that “everything but sex” doesn’t count as sex. Like it or not, physical union is a spiritual experience, independent and regardless of pleasure itself.

I had thought of many conditions or exceptions to this truth for the sake of trying to justify a pro-choice standpoint. What about babies conceived from rape? What about babies conceived out of incestuous relationships? What about the potential threat to the woman’s health? What about the circumstances in which a woman does not want or cannot reasonably care for a child?

None of these questions can stand against any real measure of scrutiny because all of them discount the existence of an all-seeing, all-knowing, all-powerful God able to work in and through any and all circumstances to bring about His good, pleasing, and perfect will.

Taking sex out of the context of marriage is a sin in what can ultimately lead to a compounding snowball of sin. From heartache, to sexually transmitted disease, to broken relationships, to unwanted pregnancy, and even to the attempted murder of a child to avoid the consequences of not honoring God’s intent… because that’s all abortion is– the selfish attempt to escape the consequences of sin– either sexual sin, or the sin of selfishness, vanity, or pride. The consequences are immense and inescapable, and they will come; either in this life or the one to come.

So why isn’t this what we’re teaching our young women and girls? The Church stresses the importance of purity yet veils sex in fear and labels talking about sex taboo. Let me tell you, Church, I promise if our young people aren’t hearing about sex from the Church, they’re hearing about it from their culture. We drape the loss of virginity in shame, without ever explaining the heart of the issue. No wonder females prefer the culture’s view of sex! (I won’t address the male perspective because as a woman I can’t completely speak to all the struggle they face in maintaining sexual purity in our culture, but I know it’s not easy.) Furthermore, we as the Church fail to show girls and young women who have struggled or sinned in this area that God still loves them, wants them to be redeemed, and can still use them in His Church when they may feel as though they’re ruined forever beyond recovery. God’s plan for sex in marriage is the only one that doesn’t result in pain, fear, shame, loss, regret, or worse– murder.

This doesn’t mean that every couple who saves sex for marriage won’t ever experience pain, shame, fear, or loss, etc. Because people aren’t perfect, and even our best attempts to live godly lives are as filthy rags to God. We need Christ- we need a Savior. Whether or not you saved sex for marriage, whether or not you had an abortion, whether or not you were the victim of unspeakable sin against your body or sexuality- God loves you and desires your salvation. So long as there is breath in your lungs and life in your body, there’s the possibility of redemption when you surrender yourself to Christ.

My prayer is that those who have maintained purity would not condescend those who fell short, but rather recognize that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but are justified freely by His grace through Jesus Christ. Come along side those weaker than you and show them the redemptive love of Christ.

My prayer for those who have current or past sexual sin in their lives is to repent with godly sorrow, and recognize that God has intended so much more for your life. And it’s not too late to repent and accept Christ’s standards of life and purity for yourself. Unfortunately, you can’t get your virginity back or unlive painful pasts. But you can receive salvation and redemption through Christ, and God can make something beautiful of your life when you humbly lay yourself at His feet.

My prayer for our Churches is that we teach God’s standards of purity and holiness to our young people so they know not only what God desires and avoid sins committed in ignorance, but so they genuinely desire God’s way and recognize it’s because His way is the best way, saving themselves from a multitude of other sins or heartache later on.

My prayer for our nation is that we see how far we have fallen from God’s standards and humbly throw ourselves at His feet, begging forgiveness and mercy for condoning the heinousness of infant slaughter in the name of “freedom”; I pray the body of Christ rises up and stands firmly against abortion, calling it what it is, and that God redeems us as a nation.

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